Today is day 365 of Grandma living with us. Saying one year seems small for some reason. This adventure isn’t taken in giant lumps of time like years, it’s taken by day by day, and often minute by minute. There are days I feel like I deserve some sort of “You Did It” trophy, but I’m not one that’s big on participation trophies, and I am certainly not winning 1st place in any care giving contest, so forget the trophy and just give me a drink. Trust me, participation in this journey alone deserves a drink….
Here’s the highlight reel of our first year on this journey:
~Poop in the floor, lots and lots of poop in the floor, as it at least once a week. I have no idea why I didn’t think to plan for this. Oh yeah, because if I had thought about poop in my floor, THIS would not be happening.
~My routine, and my “me” time went to hell in a hand basket. I didn’t realize how good I had manipulated my routine and my stellar ability to carve out time for massages and me time until this past year. This is probably goal number 1 for the next year, get those back.
~Four stays in the hospital. I don’t know if she should have been in the hospital more before, or if she is truly getting physically worse. 3 heart attacks, broken ribs and vertebrae, and and internal GI bleed. And, I say once again, this woman has more lives than a cat.
~Misbehaving at restaurants. We’re pretty much to the point if we are eating out, Grandma just can’t go. She fusses and cusses, she throws food, she eats off other people’s plates, it’s just not pretty.
~Dementia has progressed, getting a little worse each day.
All in all, we have good days and bad days. Hard days and easy days. Right now if you asked me if I would do it all again knowing what I know now, I’d probably hesitate a little before answering. But honestly, I would have to. There are certain things in life we just do because we don’t have another choice. You own up to the responsibility before you and you just do the next right thing. Yes, it is hard as hell. Yes, I am absolutely going to loose my mind soon. But, it is just what we have to do. And, that I do not regret one bit.
As we enter the next year of this journey, I just ask that you pray for us. Pray for strength and endurance. Especially pray for my kids. I wish I could take that hardship off of them. I know it eats away at them on certain days. But, I also know the lessons they are learning along this journey are some of the most valuable lessons they will ever learn in life. Pray that I will keep my complaints and eye rolling to my self. My attitude isn’t exactly amazing. I know that is surprising to many of you, but the further down this road I walk, the worse my attitude gets. I have lots of “life isn’t fair moments”. I often feel trapped in my circumstances. But, I know God has me walking this road for a reason and only for a season. And, for now we carry on.