Our world is just a little bit hectic right now. During the fall, Jeff and I usually start to slow down in our “work world”. Life in general is usually a little more relaxed in the fall. By God’s blessing, Jeff and I are both exceptionally busy right now with work. And, life in general is just hectic right now. Longer hours away from home, more to do while we are there.
With us being on the go more, Grandmother gets “worse”. Her attitude and behavior are worse, and her frustrations make her dementia worse. And, as her attitude gets worse, so does mine. I completely blew my gasket twice last week. Once, was really bad. I won’t repeat the episode here. But, let’s just say it left my 10 year old daughter saying, “Mom, I can’t believe that just happened, and are you sure you are still going to Heaven?” Also, just last week, Grandmother was wondering around the neighborhood and got lost twice. Thankfully, I have pretty amazing neighbors who guide her back home and call us to let us know what is going on. But, it is a risk. Our home health is no longer coming, so we are looking at other options.
Today, we are interviewing an adult day care facility. The expense is less that what a full time facility would be, but it give us up to 12 hours of care each day to ensure she is safe when we can’t be there. I can’t even begin to explain the thoughts circling in my brain related to all this. “How are we going to pay for this?” “What if she needs full time assisted living, how will we pay for that?” “Are we doing the right thing by seeking facility care?” “Will it make her worse?” “Will my kids get the message that when life gets hard it is okay to quit?” “Have we done too much damage to the kids already by having them witness all that goes down?” “Is God giving us the blessing to do something else? We knew it was His will to move her in. Is it His will to move her out?”
Really, it all is making me slightly crazy. In researching facilities I am also researching financial aid options available. Talking to Government Agencies is not for the faint of heart…. Just continue to pray for us as we take the next steps in dealing with Dementia care….