It’s no secret, I do planning well. It’s just who I am. It’s who I have been as long as I can remember. When I was in middle and high school, I was always the kid with the fanny pack of supplies that everyone needed. People made fun of my fanny pack until they needed something that was in it, then they were glad I was proud to rock my styling fanny pack. I have plans A, B, and C laid out for pretty much every situation in my life. That worked out great for me roughly the first 35 years of my life. Then, I guess I got too comfortable in my own skin and God decided He needed to toss a curve ball in to increase (check that, create) my dependence on Him.
And, for an OCD Planner, nothing will send you to your knees like a curve ball. It’s May. Here’s what you need to know about May in my world- the last dance competition of the year is this weekend; our studio recital is next month and preparation is in full force; end of year at school means a bazillion projects and things to do, Fine Arts nights and special performances; it just happens to be one of the 3 busiest months in my career each year, if my family is going to eat for the year, May is when it happens; school ends- thus my daycare ends. We’ve just got a lot of crap going on. So, I HAVE to plan things out, like every minute of every day plan things out.
Then, you come home from work one day and Grandmother says she is really hurting and doesn’t feel right in the head. It’s 4:30- the doctor’s office is closing soon. You investigate what not feeling right really means, you call her doctor and talk about symptoms and scenarios. And, then you say, “CRAP! We’re headed to the ER, and this isn’t anywhere on my schedule this month.” I was quiet certain our trip to the ER was a result of lack of attention. Jeff and I had been out of town for our anniversary the weekend prior, I worked really late Tuesday night, I came home Wednesday only to fix dinner and was planning to go back to work. And, to keep me home with her, she decided she needed to feel bad. Well, that didn’t work out exactly as planned. So, we were at the ER, and then got admitted to the hospital.
Thursday during the day, things seemed to go okay, and we planned for a Friday discharge from the hospital, with a 21 day stay at NHC Rehab to help her with some PT and OT where she could be more independent during the day. And, then Friday morning, Grandmother decided she didn’t like her situation. She punched a nurse, threatened to kill me, and ended up in a straight jacket. So, our plan to go to rehab struck out. She had to stay at the hospital for a psych evaluation and get stabilized before she could go to rehab.
Friday afternoon and Saturday, she was pretty much drugged out of her mind. It was totally heart breaking. She didn’t have a clue who I was, where she was, or what was going on. Literally, the only coherent thing she said in those 36 hours was, “Sunday is Mother’s Day. I want to go to the graveyard to see Pam.” Well, of course that tore me up. I just had to leave. I went home and just prayed and begged God to take her home. It may sound terrible to want someone to die, but this just wasn’t living.
Sunday morning, Mother’s Day, when I got to the hospital, Grandmother was better than she had been in months. I was totally over joyed, but totally taken off guard. I didn’t even bring her Mother’s Day present to the hospital, because I didn’t expect her to even know. Thankfully, when Jeff and the kids came up a little later, they brought her a card. Grandmother’s sisters came to visit her a little after lunch. It totally made her day. But, when they were leaving, she said, “I’ve said my goodbyes and seen everyone I need to see, I’m going now.” Of course I laid awake all night long wondering if something was going to happen to her…. but she was fine and dandy.
Monday, Grandmother had another great day. She was a little more confused, but not out of the ordinary. We got her transferred from St. Thomas to NHC Franklin late in the day. She wasn’t excited about it, but she didn’t flip her lid. She “understood” why she was there and committed to doing the work she needed to do in order to get out of rehab facility.
Beyond rehab, we really don’t know what we are going to do. The frustrating thing is everyone telling me what I need to do, what I should do, and how to do it. It’s just not that easy. There are insurance companies and government agencies involved here. Unfortunately, we just have to work the system….
So, once again, in the middle of my perfectly planned out week, life threw us a curve ball. And, all you can do is just keep swinging.